AK-47.PL TC:E BC rules

1. No cheating!
2. No spam!
3. No teamkills!
4. Respect other players!
5. Just play fair and have fun!

Jeszcze

6. Don't act like kid, when someone is better then you !

hehe

:P7. Dont camp!

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any wholesale electronics way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me baby monitors on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'." starzmart
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from.
boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke wholesale electronics supplier up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke vedio baby monitors up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going ebook reader to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"

Dear Doctor,
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child car camera each year, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are absolutely useless.
After getting married I was told to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha.
My doctor then suggested we use the safe car recorder period. At this time we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work.
A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's hardly tastes like Coors, but I night vision car camera finished up with clear skin, silky hair and another child on the way. starzmart
Another old wives tale was if my wife jumped up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from earlier), if my wife jumped up and down she would have ended up with two black eyes, and even knocked herself unconscious.
I asked a chemist about the condom. He high resolution car camera demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex stretched over the thumb can prevent a baby.
My wife was then supplied with the coil and after many unsuccessful attempts to fit it we realized that we had got a left-handed thread and my wife ir car camera is definitely a right-handed screw.
The Dutch cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all. But alas...it did give my wife a severe headache. We were given the largest size, but it was still too tight across her forehead.
Finally we tried the pill. At first it kept falling out, then we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started then to put it between her knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near her. This did work for a while until the night she forgot it....another child resulted.
You must appreciate my problem: if this operation is unsuccessful I shall have to revert to oral sex. Although I don't mind just talking about it, it could never be the same as the real thing.
Yours faithfully,
Ray Jackson

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. android tablet
2.Nothing improves with age.
3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4.Sex has no calories. android pc tablet
5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. google android tablet
8.No sex with anyone in the same office. starzmart
9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. touch screen android tablet
12.Virginity can be cured.
13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. wifi android tablet

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe"...
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow wholesale electronics regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. starzmart
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly wholesale electronics supplier dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear wholesale supplier out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending baby monitors on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased vedio baby monitors every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it." starzmart
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten ebook reader yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

Statement: "I'm a Romantic." True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about." True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me." wholesale electronics
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better." True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it." starzmart
Statement: "She's kinda cute." True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary." wholesale electronics supplier
Statement: "I don't know if I like her." True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "Was it good for you?" True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night." True Meaning: "Who are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later." wholesale supplier
Statement: "How much do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you." True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot." True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends." True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you." True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children. baby monitors
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin vedio baby monitors
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk. starzmart
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ebook reader
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.