1) How does it feel being so Awesome?

Pretty good most days. Sometimes it feels good to be out of the spotlight though...its been so long, I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal...but, most of the time it feels pretty good.

2) What can I do, to be as awesome as you?

First you have to eat your vegetables, drink plenty of water and milk, get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep every night and do your homework. A good portion of awesomeness is genetic, and if you don't have the right genes, you'll have to work twice as hard to be awesome as someone like me. But with just enough work, maybe one day you can be awesome too...not likely though.

3) Can you autograph a photo/bobble head/trading card/boob/etc...

Yes. If you send the item with a return packing label, I will be happy to autograph just about anything. However, there is a 150 work maximum ($5 per word thereafter), and a one time $25 copyright fee (per item autographed). This covers my legal expenses for suing individuals who choose to forge or duplicate my likeness (See Amigo, P vs. Metallica).

4) I love the Clan, how can I join.

Simple, we accept Curriculum Vitae on the first, and fourth Friday of each month. Although we do limit application to once per year per applicant, we still find that we get over 1,000 application each open application day. We can't promise we will get to your application, but we sincerely thank you for your submission. Do remember though, only the very best of the very best are invited to join the Clan of Awesomeness. We are still looking for our very first member, that is just how tough competition is.

5) Are there membership dues?

Yes, I'm glad you asked. We take check, cash, or money order only. The fee is $50 per application. And if approved $1,000.00 annually. Your Clan benefits include: ability to use the Clan tag when playing [Guapo], ability to drop the Clan name in conversation, position of title or nobility (you get to make up your title), and most importantly you receive the full recognition of your self-worth certified by the Clan.

6) Is Paco of Spanish speaking heritage?

No. Paco is of Irish decent, however Paco does have an affinity for Spanish and Hispanic foods and culture; so much so that his name is a combination of a nickname 'Paco' and of a Mexican restaurant 'Taco Amigo.' Paco had tacos and a bean burrito for dinner last night too.

7) Is there really a question seven in this FAQ?

Obviously, yes.

What does Paco do for a living?

Paco is a deep sea fisherman, based out of Denver, Colorado. Paco's fish trawler sails out of the Port of Denver each Friday and returns Sunday evenings. Paco is known for having the freshest Rock fish and Rocky Mountain Oysters (farm raised). Makes the mouth water, nothing like sucking down some fresh steamed Rocky Mountain Oysters. Yum-Oh!

9) Is this the last question?

Yes.